Transcript

Qin En  00:06

Hi.  I am Qin En, and this is the Parents in Tech podcast. Welcome to Season One of the Parents in Tech podcast where we interview moms who are technology company leaders based in Southeast Asia. We want to hear stories, hopes, challenges and tips from moms who are raising kids while pursuing their career aspirations. In this episode, we speak to Suganthi, Vice President of Asia at Alteryx. Before Alteryx, she held senior leadership positions and technology companies including Qlik, JDA Software, and Informatica. Suganthi is also a trainer, coach and speaker, a unique journey she embarked on after an unexpected incident at home. Suganthi is a mom of two daughters aged 24 and 20.

Qin En  01:06

Hi, Suganthi. Welcome to the Parents in Tech show. First off, can you tell us a bit more about your family?

Suganthi  01:12

Nice to be here. Thanks for inviting me. And, yeah, sure. My family's the epicenter of everything for me, personally, professionally, in every aspect of my life. That's my happy center. I came from a family where there was just an eldest sister, me, we had a schoolteacher mother, and she was really a single parent having been widowed much earlier in her life. We grew up as three ladies in the not so modern Singapore, and we came up in a pretty rough manner. But then we turned out all right, so that's a happy ending and a happy beginning for the family that I now have. My husband hails from India but is now a Singaporean. And, obviously, the cultural pollination that I've had through the wonderful institution of marriage has been extremely beneficial to me both professionally and personally. And we have two beautiful daughters. They are now young ladies in their own right, in their 20s, and one has already had a basic degree from the US and is working right here for a British company. And the other is in second year in the university. So they are adults. As I always look back, I - in the blink of an eye, they grew up while I was a busy mom. But I was also a busy professional, curating and creating and navigating a career and in a field that is dominated by males.

Qin En  02:43

Thank you so much for just giving us a sneak peek into your very rich, vivid and colorful life, not just at the workplace but at home. So tell me, how do you explain your job to your children?

Suganthi  02:55

I never quite took a lot of pains to try to explain it to my children, to be really honest, because they knew mom went to work everyday in the good old days when we used to go to work, and they knew mom did something outside the house, but when she came back, she was mom. Whenever I explained the job that I did, to them, it was a simple thing. Mom and Dad work in an office, we work for somebody, we don't own our own business. We have responsibilities and accountabilities. But at the same time, Mom and Dad love you a lot, so we will have a lot of time to spend with you and your growth and your needs and, you know, loving you and giving you all the competent care that you need as children. I was also fortunate that my mom lived with me until she passed on, and that helped build that cohesive family oneness, despite us pursuing our career tracks and you know, our busy lives. So what did Mommy do? What did Daddy do? Well, we help people and companies understand their challenges, their problems, and then try to prescribe solutions, not fix it because even as children, we wanted them to learn how to find their own solutions to fix some problems, and not everything turns out right ever time. They didn't know what software was because I've been selling software for the longest time, and I was selling financial software. Then I went into data management. All that was too tough for them to understand, right. But they knew Mom and Dad did an important job. They went home in the morning, they came back in the evenings, their work didn't seem to end because they had phone calls and all sorts of interactions beyond that. They also frequently packed their bags and went off to different countries, but, no matter where Mom and Dad went, and they were busy doing all those things that I just talked about, Mom and Dad always connected back with them. They often came back with nice little gifts, not necessarily expensive, but something to kind of make up for the loss of time. And they came back to these beaming kids who would run to them and embrace them and make them feel like the best place to be is home all the time. Yeah. So, obviously, as they grew up, they kind of understood a little bit more about the kind of work that Mom and Dad do, and, you know, what's the software field? What do we really do? You know, how do we go about doing it? I often had colleagues come home, you know, either to celebrate or to have a meal or - and the kids were pretty much part of it. So it all revolved around being around positive people and creating the enthusiasm and the curiosity to keep growing in our own little world.

Qin En  06:03

So it sounds like, you know, you've really found a nice equilibrium, that harmony between work and life. Tell me about a journey towards you figuring how to balance this out. Maybe especially in earlier in your career, right, where you are hungry, you're ambitious, work does get busy. Were there any challenges that you faced?

Suganthi  06:23

Oh, absolutely. I would be lying to say it was a breeze, was a cakewalk. I had to be much more mindful of my plans. I had to plan, I had to execute, I have to keep track that I wasn't falling way behind my plans both personally and professionally. I had to be in town because I always did a regional role, so I had to pack my bag and constantly traveling. But at the same time, I had to be home for critical milestones. You know, like, if there was a parent teacher meeting, or if there was a school concert, or even sometimes where there was a learning journey and other parents were going along, they'd say, "Mom, when are you coming to my learning journey?" I had to show engagement, and I was - I still am, a very engaged parent. It's not like I will do only one thing. I'm not sure this is a gift or a reward, but working moms tend to become very good at multitasking. And I'm sure working Dads too. Multitasking is not necessarily a smart thing. It's not necessarily an easy thing. But it's the way life was for me. I had to learn to drive, take a call, have a conversation with them, make eye contact, show excitement. It was tough at times, right? The curious kids keep asking questions, and Mom is on a call - "Don't talk to me" and, you know, all gesturing all the time, "Get into the car," you know. It's tough, but planning my day, executing according to plan, trying to avoid the noise and distractions, making sure I lead a very disciplined life so that I didn't do extension of my trips unnecessarily. And I was once on a trip to close a deal, and I was on a flight, and my younger child had a horrible, horrible cold. And she needed an ambulance and surgery and everything, and I remember when I turned on my phone when I landed, there were like 50 missed calls and, like, 50 different messages. And there was no question. I had to turn back. And fortunately, Singapore Airlines that I was flying with was amazing. They just said, "Ma'am, just turn back." I turned around like a crew member, didn't even have to go through immigration or - I said, "It's Singapore Airlines. I can leave my baggage with you," and I turned back, and I came back that very midnight on the flight, you know. So there are things like that that I've faced that have been extremely challenging as a working mom. The next time they got on a flight, I was so frightened. I was gripped by fear and anxiety, but, you know, you need to keep moving. Life has a flow. You know, there will be ebbs and flows. You keep - you keep going along, and things worked out. Well. I've had to take periods off my work because my family needed me. My mom was not too well. My kid had to be homeschooled after that accident. I had to see her through, you know - and then I also navigated my career. I became a coach. I became - I started understanding what really made my eyes light up every morning and what were some things I hated doing. And then I had to nurture those interests while I was looking after my girl and homeschooling her over a couple of years in critical years because she did have quite a big setback at that time. Everything got well together, and so those experiences helped me understand life, helped me understand that nothing stops, everything is manageable. Everything in life is impermanent, whether it's good days or bad days, and with the will and determination, we can overcome stuff, and supporting her through this also reinstilled in her the assurance that Mom is always there. Despite all the challenges, everything coming together actually makes you a much stronger person inside out, and you achieve the results. But you also achieve the harmony in your personal lives. And that's a rhythm that, that only gets better.

Qin En  10:53

Definitely. Wow. Thanks so much for that real sharing. And you mentioned a few things that really struck a chord with me about how there are certain stereotypes or certain beliefs about moms who are working, perhaps, as technology company leaders that are subject to, and one of which even you have been through which is, for example, taking a break in your career, right? For some people, they see it as almost a career limiting move. You may lose your momentum, you might lose your touch. But, clearly, Suganthi, you have proved that that's not the case. I would love to hear, what's one commonly held belief about being a mum and a technology leader that you passionately disagree with?

Suganthi  11:34

That you would spend a disproportionate amount of time with duties or chores associated to being a mom and at the expense of quality of work and the attention to detail, and, therefore, perhaps we shouldn't give you the next role or the next promotion because your competitor, a male counterpart, is likely to be able to do that job better with less distraction. I think that's a definite no-no because any promotion or any job opportunity should be given based on potential, on the on talent, on passion, that - and the attitude that people bring to work and not because your background suggests that you are - you're more likely to pay attention to this and not to that, right. I think time and again, a lot of women have proven that because, especially when you're put up against a wall, you will get the extraordinary talents that are latent, and you will suddenly show up, and you will be that super person, whether it's male or female, you will be the Superman or the Superwoman, that even you have little idea about. And as you're going through this, you don't feel you're doing anything extraordinary until someone taps you on the shoulder and says, "Hey, do you realize that you've done this, that and the other, and you've done them all brilliantly.  Wow, kudos to you, I could never do something like that." I've had lots of people come to me and tell me things like that, and I'm thinking, actually, that was my role. My job pays me for that. My employer pays me for that, so I have to do 200/300% justice to that because (a) they also have the trust in me, and I'm paid to do that, and that's expected of me. And then at home, I mean, they are my children, they are my family, then, you know, I have to do that. This feeling of, of extreme responsibility and accountability for both happens to a lot of us, and we actually outperform the expectations on both sides, thinking all the time and punishing ourselves internally all the time, that, oh, maybe we're not doing enough, or maybe I should do more of this. But that sort of keeps raising the bars on both fronts, and then you feel oh my goodness, yes, I've done it, and I could do it again. And then there you go doing - you know, doing it again and again, but it all starts up here, how we're wiring ourselves? Because if I wire myself that no, I'm limited, I can't do both, then that's what's going to happen. It's going to manifest, but if I say no, I'm going to give it, you know, my best because I have all this result, I'm going to go for it, and I know I'm going to do it, every cell in your body will behave accordingly, and powers of the universe will manifest accordingly too. So, I mean, just think of the things that have happened in our lives and we have achieved and those things that have fallen halfway through and we haven't achieved. It all started with that powerful thought that it's possible or it's impossible, and we'll make it happen.

Qin En  15:16

I love that.  It's really the growth mindset, right? It's almost like how do I get there not if I will get there, and I think going in with the mindset that, Hey, it's okay to fail, but I try my best, right. This is what I want to achieve, I will do my best at it even if it doesn't work out, that's completely fine. I believe in that growth mindset and taking away those limits, like you mentioned. It's so valuable. I'm curious, right, Suganthi, with as you as you coach, your, your teams, you coach, fellow moms, you coach, other people, what are one or two ways that you have found helpful for people to overcome these limiting self beliefs that they have?

Suganthi  15:55

I like a few things. I like the use of two new ones and, and scales, right. So a few things, like, do you think you have control over your plans, you know, on a scale of zero to 10? Zero being none, 10 being - where would you rate yourself? Self-rating questions and scales, and people would, would not hesitate to put their - you know, where they think they feature on these things, and then try to ask them, okay, if they land on a six, or seven or a five - ask them what do you think contributes to that gap? What do you think you could do to make yourself a 10? Or a nine? Or where do you like to be? And start shifting their mind from where they are to where they would like to be and what's stopping them or what is challenging them to do achieving that and staying at the 10? I think that's one very highly motivational exercise. It builds self awareness, but it also builds the path forward. It also tends to raise those objections. And how, how do you think, what do you think you could do? Do you have role models whom you've seen overcome these things? Right? So then you start a forward thinking. Like I always say, feedback is good, but feed-forward is even better. Right? Because feedback tends to be very critical, but feed-forward tends to be the possible, the art of the possible. And I think that gets people really excited. The other thing that I like to do is, you know, there's something called, like, the cycle of life, kind of a chart where it's like a pie chart. Ask someone, what do you think is important to you? They might say, okay, work, building a strong friends network, sports, eating healthy. It's like a little pie chart, but all the important things to them. And it could be - yours could be different from mine could be different from somebody else, with all due respect, and then try to tell them, same thing. If being - you know, from here to here, if it's zero to 10, where do you think you are on each element that you have said? And then they sort of draw a web diagram and they see, oh, I'm really lacking in building up my network, or I'm really lacking in working on my health. How do I kind of harmonize that and get into a nice formation where I should be for all the things that I'm open in my life, you know, so there are many, many things like that. And there are many communities now that people build that can help you get there. You don't - you're never alone.

Qin En  18:54

Those are two tools that I can imagine are so helpful. It's about understanding where you are, but like you said, also looking forward to where you want to go and crafting a very intentional plan towards there. So, Suganthi, I am curious, when you started the journey of taking a break to be present for your daughter, when she was homeschooling and embarking on this journey of being a trainer, a coach, a speaker, was that part of the plan? Right. Was your plan to do both at the same time or perhaps to just focus on homeschooling, and the - the training, the speaking came up along the way? I would love to hear your thoughts on how you entered this phase of your life and what happened in it.

Suganthi  19:38

So as the saying goes, right, life is what happens to you when you think you've got it all planned. So that's exactly what happened to me. No, none of this was planned. I was on a plane. The accident happened. I had to return. It was hospital scenes for us for months on end, homeschooling, rehabilitation, you know, taking her for her physios and different classes, arranging the home tutors, flying between school and home to get the work across, all that. So that was what I had planned. I had to just drop my job one day, and just come back home and assume a different role altogether. It wasn't easy for me because I had worked all the while. And I had to juggle the two. But now there was no - I couldn't travel, I couldn't do all those late night calls because I needed to take care of them from showering to putting her in a wheelchair, dragging her to places and everything. So one had to give and I decided at that point in my life that being there for her was more important, which is - still today I say is the right thing. I myself, my health took a beating because of all the stress. I had to look after her and I had to deal with things happening on the health front for me as well. I did spend some time in the hospital, then came back to normalcy and everything. I mean, as I said, right, all things are impermanent, good and bad. So after some time, the rhythm of looking after her, the homeschooling - I had set up the tutor ecosystem, you know, the rhythm of going to school, picking her work, putting - and then, because I've been a working mom juggling so many balls and making sure that last one doesn't drop to the ground, it was innate in me to say, hey, I can do a bit more. But I knew I couldn't do as much as before, like going back to a regional role, a leadership role, looking after teams and flying. Then I started questioning myself, what is it that I really enjoy? And the answers were very evident. I love presenting. I love influencing and persuading people. I loved self help kind of stuff. Like, most - because I personally had benefited from executive coaches and some coaching methodologies during my professional journey that far. And I said, I love the work that they do, because it translates into impact and impacting someone's behavior, thinking and guiding them - navigate through difficult times. And I love that. And I love empowering. And I love wordsmithing I - you know, I'm - I love writing things. It's very relieving. So at that time I even wrote a children's book that got published by a UK publisher. It was me telling and getting myself out of my health situation in a quickest way through expression. It's a gift I got from my mom who was an English teacher. And I started pinning stuff. I love presenting, I love standing up on stage and, you know, presenting and storytelling and inviting people to discussion and debate, facilitating panels. So that's why I chose the line of getting into holding training work- you know, workshops, facilitating forums and panels, coaching. And as a sales leader, sales was in my blood and my DNA. And I love sales enablement, because I love enabling people. Empowering people is so so rewarding. And I have a teaching profession in my career journey as well, and I loved it. So I said, okay, let me go back to that because all these items still do part time. It was another classic opportunity for me to become a better version of myself, and I leveraged.

Qin En  23:59

That's such an inspiring and powerful story. And I'm sure that there were fears or anxieties as you took that sudden U-turn having to quit your job within a day to take care of the home. But I came across one of the interviews you did, Suganthi, and you essentially say fear stands for face everything and rise. I really love that based on all your interaction so far, especially with mums who are building their careers and tech companies. What's one of the fears that they face, and how would you encourage them to go about addressing it?

Suganthi  24:31

Technology is very demanding because it's always changing. You always have to learn, unlearn, relearn, keep abreast of changes. You also have to build a very wide net. You have to invest time during more outside work to make sure you're - you're building that. A lot of us moms would prefer to just leave office work and then come back and not think about it. I think one of the fears that women in technology face is that the amount of time invested because there seems to be this perpetual, you know, time spent doing all the peripheral things around building that network, getting to know all the stuff that's happening in the markets, getting to know new and newer technology. So the amount of time invested, consciously or unconsciously, seems to be easier for the male folks, right, than the females. And as a mom, that might be a fear. Will that be self limiting? Will that limit the career path, or, again, it could be a limit here in the way we are wired, but these are fears that - that kind of feed off a lot of limitations that ultimately manifest themselves for women technology? Right? And because we might, either consciously or unconsciously, express these fears when we are talking to our manager, having a review, or even just chit chatting, those become - you know, that's how it manifests. People say, oh, well, you said you don't have enough time to network. Oh, you said you don't have enough time to - you know, whereas a male counterpart would never put it that way. Might say, oh, despite everything, I still attended this course. Despite, everything I attended that cocktail and this networking session, right. I think the fear is, again, something that arises within us, but we need to be able to (a) control it or (b) make sure it's a realistic, because, like you said, it's either face everything and rise or forget everything and go oh, crap, do I want to play victim? Or do I want to win this? It's our choice, right?

Qin En  27:00

Yeah, that's so power for the victim versus "I'm going to take responsibility. I'm going to own it myself." Sometimes that - that simple decision to make makes all the difference. So, Suganthi, you know, you are someone who is very successful on all fronts. What motivates you today?

Suganthi  27:16

What motivates me? Well, it's just you must never let the fire in the belly die out.  I could not - even in this pandemic, you can see different people exhibiting different behaviors. Some are just okay, just laid back, let this period get over, then I'll bounce back. Some are like, no, I - like, every week, I find a new trail to blaze, you know. I found a new passion in walking all the parts of Singapore. I think keeping that fire burning and always curious, the curiosity of a five year old. You know, Einstein said this beautifully. He said it's not that I'm incredibly intelligent. You know, I'm just incessantly curious. I think that curiosity of a kid burning right through life and not just letting life whisk pass is so so important. You have to be impassioned in whatever you choose. For me, I'm fascinated by the behavior of people. I love bringing people together in a collaborative fashion, believing in a common source, celebrating the successes, however small thing they are, and then setting the next big thing for our - for us to do in a collaborative fashion. But within the fabric of trust, all that ignites me and ignites my interest, being able to persuade people to believe in something with fire and passion, believing in what I do, that what I do actually translates to impactful outcomes and sustainable - in a sustainable fashion leads to growth of some sort. Whether it's personal growth, or a physical growth, or growing markets in finding you go to market avenues for companies I work for, all this excites me tremendously.

Qin En  29:15

Our audience, we can definitely hear that. And under this video, I can definitely see that in your eyes, that - that fire, that passion that's within you. It's so infectious, and it's so amazing. Now, to wrap up today's session, if there's one lesson you'd learn as a parent in tech, Suganthi, what would that be?

Suganthi  29:30

Always stay in touch with your children, with your family. Nothing's more important. We do all this, and, and at the end of the day, if we are distant from the very people who - who motivate us to do what we do, I think then the game is really lost. Stay in the game, but stay connected to the people who matter most to us all the time, and having that fine balance so that there's no regret, no guilt is so so so important. So much as we have a lot of career aspirations, I would say, have the energy and the passion and the - and the thinking that you can do both together, and keep it real so that, at the end of the day, you can look back and say, "Wow, I achieved all that," and not have regrets. You actually look at it with pride and joy and say, "Hey, I've actually managed all that. Not bad, hey?"

Qin En  30:37

That is simply beautiful. Well, Suganthi, on the on the topic of staying in touch, if our listeners will love to connect with you, how can they best do so?

Suganthi  30:45

Well, I'm very socially present. LinkedIn is always the most professional way to get in touch with me. So happy to - if I can help in any way, just pop a message across, and we can be in touch.

Qin En  31:05

Certainly. We will find you on LinkedIn. Well, thank you so much again for joining us on Parents in Tech. This was an inspirational conversation, and we really appreciate you taking your time.

Suganthi  31:14

I'd like to thank you for featuring me on your platform and helping me share my thoughts and hope it inspired a thing or two and created a few lightbulb moments for the listeners.

Qin En  31:27

It definitely will. Thank you

Qin En  31:37

It's a wrap. Thanks for listening to the Parents in Tech podcast with me, your host, Qin En. We hope you were inspired on how to raise kids and build companies. To catch up on earlier episodes or stay updated with upcoming ones, head over to www.parents.fm to join our community of parents in tech. There you can also drop me a question, idea, feedback or suggestion. Once again, the website is www.parents.fm. That's all for this episode, folks. See you next time.